Senior night for Natasha

Our Columbus Academy High School senior, Natasha, will be honored tonight at her field hockey team’s senior night game against Lancaster.  She and her other senior teammates have had great field hockey careers.  They’ve played hard and with class.  They won a state championship 2 years ago.  Natasha, Lane Averill and Ali Dillon all started on that team as sophomores, winning their regional championship, state semifinal and state final games by 4 goals each.  They finish their regular season Friday against a Cleveland team, Magnificat, and then start the state tournament next week.  The team is doing well and getting better all the time.  They’re 8-0-1 in their last 9 games.  11-1-2 overall. 

Younger daughter Clarissa played a lot of  defense in yesterday’s win at Bishop Hartley and coach Horton said she could be using her there in the future. 

Miranda & Ben

Miranda and Ben Bring (oldest daughter and son-in-law) were back in Columbus two weekends ago.  Ben was on his first 1 week break at med school.  Miranda’s busy in the masters program (education) at Radford and assistant coaching the school’s Div. I field hockey team. 

Accordians, Korean folk songs & class

I posted this entry on my buddy Steve Sullivan’s blog in response to his fond recollection of going to a local pub back in our Ohio State journalism days where there was a wonderful accordion player named Esther Craw.  One time some Korean students taught us all a Korean folk song and Esther accompanied us on her accordion.  A few months ago Sully heard that very song (called “Arirang”) and said to himself, “I know that song.”  That brought to mind his memories of the Black Forest Inn, Esther and Korean folk songs. 

Here’s my post to Sully’s blog:

Esther Craw passed away sometime in maybe 2006 or 2007.  She was a super nice lady.  She had a great play list, but her glory was in sometimes letting college kids sing or hum a few lines of a song she didn't know and then coming in strong with that blessed accordion of hers.

The song we fondly remember was indeed Arirang -- not to be confused with 'Arirang the gem of the ocean' or the 'Theme to Arirang's Song'.  It went like this:

'Arirang, Arirang, Ar.....Arirong (move hands to indicate that you are traversing a mountain range)'.  They sang it at the opening ceremonies of the Seoul Olympics (sans accordion).

Esther taught me "Won't you come home Bill Bailey", "The Whippenpoof Song", "Bye, Bye Blackbird".  More than that, she taught a couple of crusty journalism hacks how a room full of people from around the world who don't know each other can come together for a brief glorious moment in song and joy.

I've heard it said that a gentleman is someone who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't.  Well the definition of a gentlelady like Esther includes someone who thinks they can play the accordion to any conceivable song -- and does. 

Thanks for the memory Sully.

Jim Leickly (Sully's buddy at the Black Forest Inn)

It is said that the eyes are the mirror to the soul.

They are also the mirror to the mind.  With great athletes,

their eyes are not searchlights.  They aren’t even spotlights. 

They are laser beams  … Great athletes play with their

eyes, not their minds.  They see it and go.   There’s no

hesitation on the field. 

                                    -- Mind Gym

                                    Gary Mack

Tash & Clarissa & the Columbus Academy Vikings field hockey team

 beat arch rival Watterson 2-0 on 9/25/08

            The Academy Vikings field hockey team defeated its arch rival Bishop Watterson 2-0 on 9/25/08 at Academy.  We had a lot of fast pitch softball friends there to see Clarissa who’s started all but one of the varsity games as a freshman.  C plays about half the time as part of a rotation of forwards.  She has 4 goals.  The softball friends were there because softball teammate, Maddie (“Maddog”) Simmonds plays for Watterson.  So both kids were playing on the same night.  It was awesome.  Natasha is center midfield and never leaves the game since she’s part of the phalanx of solid midfielders who have kept the field tilted in Academy’s favor this season.  She has 8 goals as is having a fantastic year.  The Vikings are 8-1-1 entering this Saturday’s doubleheader in Dayton against Oakwood and Kettering Fairmont. 

Miranda & Ben coming home this weekend

            Miranda and Ben will be coming home this weekend for the first time since moving to Blacksburg 8/6/08.  Ben has a 1 week break from med school.  He worked the Virginia Tech v. Georgia Tech game as a medic in the room that fans go to when they are ill or injured.  

Yankee Stadium trivia question

            Yankee Stadium in New York City had its last game this past Sunday.  The “House that Ruth Built” will be torn down and replaced by a new Yankee Stadium.  There is a place behind the centerfield fence called monument park to celebrate past greats.  Here’s a puzzler:

Q:  Name 3 former Cardinals who have plaques among the 23 plaques in monument park at Yankee Stadium. 

A:  Roger Maris, Pope Paul VI and Pope John Paul II.

"All that is gold does not glitter;

All who wander are not lost;

The old but strong does not whither;

Deep roots are not touched by the frost."  

                                       -- Tolkien

                                       "Fellowship of the Ring”

Miranda & Ben move, in school

            Miranda and Ben moved to Blacksburg 8/6/08 and things are going well.  Ben started medical school at Virginia Tech (actually, the Virginia Institute of Osteopathic Medicine) and Miranda’s going after her masters in education at nearby Radford.  She an assistant field hockey coach on the Radford Highlanders’ Div. I field hockey team.  They may both be coming back to Columbus for a couple of days at the end of this month.

Tash & Clarissa are teammates

            Natasha was voted one of the captains on the Columbus Academy field hockey team.  The team is out to a 3-1-1 start.  Tashi has scored 4 goals and is doing well as a center mid.  Clarissa and five other freshmen made the team and are all doing well – it’s a great freshman class.  Clarissa’s started 4 of the games (she’s a sub now) at forward and has scored 3 goals.  We’ve had field hockey in the family for about 12 years.  2 years ago we had a first with all three daughters playing on various teams (college, high school, middle school).  This year the first year to have 2 girls on the same team.  Clarissa’s working on her stick skills and quickness.  She’s still practicing fast pitch softball on weekends. 

Tash will attend the University of Louisville next year

            Tash did her official NCAA visit to the University of Louisville last weekend and just loved everything about it.  She wants to study psychology at Louisville – it’s a great school in the sciences and liberal arts with a great learning connection with Jewish Medical Center in downtown Louisville.  So she will be a Louisville Cardinal field hockey player next year.  The Cards are a young team coached by U.S. Olympic team assistant coach Pam Bustin.  They’ve already beaten Duke, OSU and OU this year.  The new field hockey work out and locker room facility at the field is state of the art.  The NCAA field hockey Final Four will be there on Nov. 21-23, 2008.   It’s a little bit added gravy for mom and dad that Louisville’s a great town with a neat downtown and eclectic neighborhoods with great restaurants that have character.  The ‘Ville is only 3-3.5 hours from Columbus.  It’s only about 2 hours from Indianapolis (Uncle Fred and Aunt Linda); 3 hours from St. Louis (Pastor Hal Santos); 1.5 hours from Cincy; and, I think, about 2-3 hours north of Nashville.  It sits on the Ohio River southwest of Cincy.  Muhammad Ali is from Louisville and there’s museum there in his honor.  John Unitas, unquestionably the greatest quarterback in NFL history, played for Louisville.  Then, of course, there’s Churchhill Downs and the Kentucky Derby.  The most inspirational quote of the weekend visit was from assistant coach Abbey Heird:  “You have no idea just how good you can be once you’ve worked hard, been coached and have reached your full athletic potential.  You’ll be amazed at the things you’ll be able to do that you never thought you could.”  It was  a tough choice for Tash since all the schools on her 4-school short list were wonderful and had their own special advantages.  There were no bad choices to be made.

More great news:  Client receives full death benefit from Farmers Insurance

Update from 5/9/08 blog

In my 5/9/08 blog I copied an attorney’s letter that I prepared and sent to Farmers Insurance on behalf of a single mom who’s a client of mine.  The insurance company was denying the payment of a $100,000 life insurance benefit to my client because, they asserted, the decedent had lied on his application.  The letter I sent that was quoted in my 5/9/08 blog cited Ohio case law and the facts of this case. A couple weeks after sending that letter, I received an overnight letter from Farmers that I figured was another “pound salt – we’re not paying you” letter (I had received such a letter previously from them).  As I opened the overnight package, I noticed there was a window envelope which usually indicates a check or a bill.  It was a check for $110,000-plus!  Farmers, bless them, paid my client the death benefit plus interest.  I felt great because the client was agreeable to paying me a contingency fee if I had to file a law suit in Federal Court.  I told her through her translator (she’s originally from Columbia and speaks Spanish) to wait and just let me send this letter and see if Farmers makes any kind of offer.  So the whole thing worked out fabulously because the hourly fee ended up being just about 1% of the total payment – much better for the client than a typical one-third (33%) contingency.  The only surprise was that when I contacted the client the day I got the check, I was asked by her translator if there was a day during the next week they could come in to get the check.  I was expecting them to meet me that day at my house to get this much money.  They asked me present my bill at the meeting.  When I gave her my bill, the client rounded it up a few hundred dollars.  I said, “you don’t have to do that” and she just smiled and waved her hand.  Great tip.  God be praised, it was a great result.

Miranda & Ben Married 7/12/08

            My daughter Miranda (23) and Ben’s wedding was wonderful.  The couple is on a honeymoon – a Hawaiian cruise and will return Sunday, July 27, 2008.  There are great photos of the wedding and reception that were taken by my niece, Bethany King and put on her website.  It’s on my “Links” page under “DCKingz”.  We got to see Beth and Larry King’s new baby girl, Stella, born in mid-April.

            My feelings as stated in my introduction at the reception:

            Miranda’s been such a blessing to my wife Debbie and me.  When we lost our infant son Nathaniel in 1989, Miranda was just four at the time.  In God’s provision we had a little angel in our house, Miranda.  Just the fact that she was there was a blessing.  The remarkably loving daughter she was and still is added all the more to the blessing.  Many families don’t survive the tragedy of the death of a   child.  Ours did in great measure because the Lord had Miranda in our life.  Now we have another son, Ben.  So this is an occasion of joy because the Lord’s name is Jehovah Jireh (the “Lord will provide”).

            When Ben’s parents, Dale & Mona Bring, tricked Deb and me into a dinner invitation in February of 2007, Ben showed up “out of the blue”.  I said to myself:  “I know what this is.”  He was asking us for Miranda’s hand in marriage.  My only question was:  “Will you love our daughter the way Christ loved the Church in that you would be willing to die for her?”  He looked me in the eye and said “yes” and that’s all I needed.  He’s a great man from a great family.

            Now, there’s an additional admonition.  The story goes that there was a man who was having his young son push a heavy stone in a field.  Despite all efforts, the son could not move the stone.  The father asked, “Are you using all your strength?”  The son replied, “I am Daddy, I am.”  The father asked, “Are you sure you’re using all your strength?”  The son answered, “Yes Daddy, I am.  I am.”  Finally, the father says, “No you’re not because I’m standing just 10 feet away from you and you haven’t once asked me to help you.  Together, we can move that stone.”  That’s what marriage, family, friendship, partnership and our relationship with our Heavenly Father are all about:  being strong and loving enough to give provision and being humble yet confident enough to ask for it.  That’s when we’re at our greatest strength.  I’d be a hypocrite to ask my son-in-law to be willing to give his life for my daughter, if I didn’t expect her to do the same for him and if I wouldn’t do the same for both of them.

Other notes:

            Thanks to brother Richard and sister-in-law Gretchen’s family (the Seattle Leicklys) for coming in four days early and being a huge help in getting things ready, fixing things, hosting guests.  It was awesome.

            It was great to see Bob Gelchion from Denver.  Bob’s woke up a couple months ago with nerve problems on the whole side of his body.  It’s gradually improved, but his lower leg has still been a problem.  He told me two days ago that the morning after he returned to Denver from his wedding trip, his leg had dramatically improved.

            The weather report had nothing in it about hell freezing over, but yet my friend from Los Angeles, Kerry Kramer, came to Columbus and loved it.  My buddy Phil (the LA Kramers), my old Ohio State roommate, showed his wife the OSU campus.  She said she’ll be back – maybe with Philly (she calls him “Philly”) when he takes the boys to a Buckeye game this season.

            Old high school buddy John Jannazo, retired Lt. Col. in the USAF, played basketball with us the morning of the wedding.  This was with Ben, a very good player, and his University of Denison buddies.  John and I also played basketball 24 years earlier just before my wedding at Yoctangee Park in Chillicothe, Ohio on July 14, 1984.  The amazing thing is that John actually played much better in 2008 than he did in 1984.

            Bob, Philly, John and my brother Dan were the groomsmen/best man at my wedding.  All four were at my daughter’s wedding. 

            My law friend Eric Wittenberg, a Civil War historian, came to the reception with a signed book he just published on Lee’s retreat after Gettysburg (“One Continuous Fight”) for me and for my oldest brother Fred, whose a pediatric allergist and Civil War re-enactor in Indianapolis.  Fred had been at Gettysburg a week before the wedding doing a re-enactment of Pickett’s charge on the 145 anniversary of the battle.

Miranda & Ben’s Wedding 7/12

Just 8 days from oldest daughter Miranda’s wedding to Ben Bring.  We’re excited.  Brother Richard’s family comes in Tuesday from Seattle.  Old friends Bob Gelchion from Denver and Phil and Kerry Kramer from Los Angeles are coming as well as old high school buddies John and Cindy Jannazo (Fort Walton, FL) and Tim and Dorinda Holzman (Cleveland).  Miranda’s been such a blessing – a wonderful daughter who will be a wonderful wife.  Brother Fred’s family is coming and we’ll see niece Bethany’s new daughter, Stella. 

Natasha

Tash qualified for the national field hockey championships at the Olympic Team’s training facilities in Virginia Beach.  Quite an honor.  She played well for the Detroit team at Virginia Beach.  The team placed 7^th out of 16 U-19 teams.  She’s now attending camps and discussing things with some Division I schools that are interested in her.  As of July 1, NCAA rules allow college coaches to contract rising seniors directly.  She and sister Clarissa go to the Columbus Academy team camp at the University of North Carolina on 7/13 – the morning after big sister’s wedding.

Clarissa

Clarissa’s doing great as a fast-pitch softball catcher.  She came to the plate a couple weekends ago in a semifinal game at the Whitehall tournament with two outs, runners on second and third and her Gahanna Lady Lions team trailing 4-3.  She drilled the pitch back up the middle sending in both runners.  Her throws to second are better all the time.  She threw out four runners in two games last Friday.  She also plays field hockey at a summer league on Sunday, Monday and Thursday nights.  She’s a rising freshman but is playing with varsity players.  She’s scored four goals so far in the league.

"And Jesus, seeing that his disciples were anguished, said, 'Let not your hearts be troubled.  You believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many rooms.  If it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you shall also be.'"

                                                                                                           -- John 14:1-3

Brittany Anderson

Our friend Brittany Anderson (9^th grader at Gahanna Lincoln) lost her heroic battle with cancer about a month ago.  It was mentioned at her funeral how close she was to the Lord during the last years of her life and how her faith deepened.  I have no doubt that her faith in and love for her heavenly father was enhanced because of the traits the Lord had put in her earthly father, Brian Anderson.  Love, without conditions, all the way to the end.  Brit’s with Jesus awaiting a far-off but glorious reunion with those she loves.  She was a friend from church and a fast-pitch softball teammate of Clarissa’s.  Prayers for Brian and the rest of the family and friends Brit leaves behind.

Larry Spann

My friend Larry Spann died in May at the age of 58 of congestive heart failure.  He was  a friend and Tuesday Night men’s group leader at New Life Church.  Until he went to the hospital for the last time, I enjoyed coming over to his apartment a couple of times and visiting with him and his little protector, a small dog named Ellie Mae.  The day before he went into the hospital, we talked movies.  I mentioned a favorite, Ikiru, a Japanese movie where a lifelong bureaucrat discovers he has terminal cancer and struggles to find meaning in the last six months of his life.  He goes from seeking attentions of a young women and a spending spree and then on to drunkenness.  Finally, he comes upon something of real meaning.  After his death, his friends and family only find out as they sit together putting together his life that through his government job he fought with patience and dignity in the final months of his life to cause a disease-infested swamp area to be drained and turned into a park for the benefit of some poor families.  The people putting his saga together also wonder if he was even aware of his cancer because he told no one.  A colleague recounts him being treated poorly by a politician as he tried to cut through the red tape.  The film flashes back as colleague recalls asking him, “Doesn’t it make you mad the way they treat you.”  Our hero responds:  “I can’t afford to hate.  I haven’t got the time.”  Larry’s reaction was that he would like to do something like that.  I told him he already had – and more.  Steadfast and faithful – he left an indelible mark on us all.

"... you shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned to joy.  A woman, when she goes through the travail of childbirth endures the pain and is then joyful that a child is born into the world.  Likewise, you now have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy can no man take from you."

                                                                                                        -- John 16:20-22

Insurance issue for client:

Here’s a copy of a letter to an insurer that has refused to pay my client, a life insurance beneficiary, because the insured/decedent erroneously stated he was not a smoker when he filled out the application.  I’ve deleted the names for the purposes of this blog..

Dear Mr. _____:

            I appreciate you calling me back and discussing this matter with me on May 2, 2008.  I you suggested, I am sending this letter to outline our legal position as to why your client should reconsider its decision not to pay a $100,000 death benefit to my client. 

            In summary, Ohio statutory law puts the burden on the insurer by clear and convincing evidence to prove four essential elements, including that the error on the application was willful and that the action of the insured was fraudulent.  The insurer’s burden is in the conjunctive, not the disjunctive.  In this case, there is no doubt that the insured’s application answer related to smoking was erroneous, but ___________ Life Insurance Company (“_________”) can not demonstrate by clear and convincing evidence that the mistake was either willful of fraudulent.

               Here are some facts that work against _____ being able to meet its burden under Ohio law:

1.)    Both my client, _______, and the decedent, _____, do/did not speak English.  Mr. _______’s answers were translated by the agent;

2.)    Ms. ____ was sitting with Mr. _________ while the answers were being given and heard him answer the questions truthfully;

3.)    Not long after the application was filled out, Mr. ____ died and Ms. ______ was interviewed by your investigator, ______.  Ms. ___ told the investigator that the decedent did smoke.  Had there been some intent to defraud, why would she suddenly give the truthful answer to the investigator?  These actions are not consistent with fraudulent conduct; and

4.)    The application gives negative information about decedent.  If he admits in the application to drinking heavily, why would he then lie and say he’s a non-smoker? 

            Again, it’s the insurer’s burden of proof under the law in Ohio, not ours.  Even without the above facts, it would be difficult in a vacuum for an insurer to prove by clear and convincing evidence that an answer is willfully wrong and that there is an intent to defraud.  This difficulty is underscored in the case of First National v. Metropolitan Insurance wherein the decedent/insured had been a life insurance agent working for the defendant insurer.  Because of this, he would know the application questions and the process extremely well.  He nevertheless indicated erroneously on the life insurance application that he was a non-smoker.  This notwithstanding, the court looked at four requirements under R.C. §3911.06 and found that Metropolitan could only satisfy one of them.  Among those requirements that Metropolitan could not prove was: 1.) a willful misrepresentation by the insured; and 2.) an intent to defraud.  The worst the court could say about the decedent was that he must have been careless in filling out the application.  It’s hard to believe a court would say anything worse about the decedent in our case and my client, the beneficiary,  who is a single mother with minor children.

            I’ve attached a copy of the Metropolitan case with the email transmission that I am sending you.  My goal is to enter into a dialogue with ______ and settle this matter amicably.  Please look at your file in light of these facts and the legal authority that I have supplied and then get back in touch with me.

            Thank you.

New addition to family

Congratulations to niece Bethany King and her husband Larry on the birth of Stella King on 4/16/08.  Stella’s their first child and the first grandchild on the Leickly side of the family.  Congratulations to my oldest brother Fred and my sister-in-law Linda.  Fred looks too young to be a grandpa, but as they say on the old episodes of the “Little Rascals”, of which Fred is a collector, he’s “55 years of old age.”  Beth and Larry will be great parents.  Hope to see the whole family soon.  They’re in the DC area and details on Stella are on their web page which is on my links under “D.C. Kingz”.

Miranda & Ben’s wedding is still on

July 12, 2008 at 4:30 at Stonybrook United Methodist Church is still the magic date.  Invitations will be sent in about a week or two in accordance with etiquette.  Miranda and Ben have done a great job planning it.  We’re all excited in that God, the maker of  marriage, will bless this union.  Miranda’s working as an assistant 4^th grade teacher at Columbus Academy and assistant coaching the girls JV lacrosse team.  They’re having a great season.  Ben starts med school at Va. Tech in Blacksburg, Va. so they’ll be part of the Hokie nation.  Miranda bought me a Hokie T-shirt that I wear 3 times a week as an honorary Hokie.  My first allegiance is to the Buckeye nation, but as Don Corleone tells Salanzo in the first Godfather movie, “I wish you well … as long as your interests don’t interfere with my interests.”  Ohio State plays USC in ’08 and ’09, but I think the Buckeyes have a two-year home-and-home stint with the Va. Tech coming up soon.  Miranda’s hoping to get her master’s at nearby Radford once she and Ben get to Blacksburg.  She passed her Ohio teaching certification test.

Natasha heading to an elite field hockey camp

Tash has been invited to an elite field hockey camp at Wake Forest in 3 weeks.  She’s planning to play Division I field hockey and she and Clarissa have been playing in the U.S. Futures program at Ohio State every weekend.  The regional competition is the weekend of May 17-18 with hopes of qualifying to go to the national tournament in Virginia Beach at the site of the U.S. Olympic Field Hockey headquarters.

The varsity lacrosse team is finishing up it’s regular season.  The Vikings are 8-2 and hoping for a good seeding for the playoffs.  Tash is a defensive specialist, defending one-on-one the opposition’s big gun and trying to deny her the ball.  She’s like a cornerback in football – out on an island with a short memory required.

Clarissa does it all (or so she thinks)

Clarissa’s playing defensive midfield for her middle school lacrosse team and having a great time.  They’ve only lost once.  She’s playing great defense and scoring a couple goals a game.  She had a chance to play three games of fastpitch softball in Springfield, Ohio 2 weeks ago with a Trinity middle school team that included her Gahanna Lions teammate Maddy Simmonds.  “Sistuh C” did great behind the plate (threw out three runners) and at the plate.  Fastpitch starts Memorial Day weekend.  She wants to play cello again next year. 

This is the Junior Speech that 16-yr-old daughter Natasha will give at Columbus Academy today.  A requirement of the school is for all juniors to give a speech before the entire upper school student body and faculty.  Older sister Miranda did it five years ago.  Here goes Tashi’s speech:

 

 

 

Chilling screams caught his attention during his walk, as he witnessed a disturbing event unlike anything he’d ever seen before. He saw a tall, burly man standing menacingly over an innocent crying little girl. She couldn’t have been more than three years old. The observer sees the girl falling away from her abuser.  First he sees the assailant smack down at the little girl’s face.  Then the attacker pauses, and hits the girl in the chest sending her sprawling to the concrete.  First comes the smack, then the tearful thud.  As the strolling witness of this disturbing event becomes worried, he wonders what is going on. He is unsure of what to do and doesn’t know whether he should intervene. He wants to make sure that everything is all right, but doesn’t know how to approach the violent man. He finally decides that the right thing to do is confront the situation.

My dad had just finished his yard work. We didn’t know how badly he had just disturbed a giant nest of bees. As I walk by, one lands onto my right eye with evil intent. My dad hears my bloodcurdling scream, and he springs into action. He smacks down at the bee with a slapping motion at my face. The bee, stunned by the blow that knocks it from my eye ends up on my chest. There my father pauses, eyes afire, and smacks the bee as it’s crawling up toward my face.  I am sent sprawling to the concrete. First comes the smack and then the tearful thud. The bee, though, gets the worst of it.  It is crushed by the blow.

My dad stands over the bee’s carcass like a victorious boxer making sure his foe is down for the count. He’s confronted by a concerned neighbor. “Jim! What’s going on?” The neighbor eyes him with a suspicious glare. Dad points to the ground at the dead bee. As a sense of clarification starts to dawn on the neighbor, I blurt out, “Dad, you knocked me down!”  Dad’s demeanor goes from victorious knight to misunderstood lawyer all in one instant.

            Perception. Perception is the process by which we select, organize and interpret the sensory information we receive into a meaningful picture. When we don’t have the whole picture, our perception compels us to “put the pieces together.” My neighbor thought he saw a dad beating his daughter. From my young perspective, I was attacked by a bee the size of a car, and then whacked by my Dad.  The rescue seemed worse than the bee’s assault, but that’s because thankfully, I have never known what it is to be stung by a bee. Especially in the eye. From my Dad’s perspective, he had blunted an attack in the nick of time.  Ever since then, at least once every week it seems he says, “Hey Tash remember when I saved you from that bee?” Well, he did.

All the people involved in this event had different perceptions as to what was going on, because we all have different points of view.

From the perspective of my neighbor, my dad was beating me. He didn’t know the whole story. He didn’t know why I was screaming, and he didn’t perceive that my dad was actually helping me. The neighbor came to my aid.  He was just as heroic as my dad.  He did the right thing by checking things out, knowing that first looks can deceive. Many times we don’t.

Haven’t we all made judgments based off of what we have perceived without examining those perceptions? I know I have.  The summer before my freshman year, I went on a mission trip to Tennessee, where I helped rebuild a man’s house. This man had a confederate flag sitting in his front yard. I was suspicious and quick to judge. Through what I know and what I’ve been taught, this flag was a symbol of racism and slavery. But, from this man’s point of view, the flag was a symbol of neither of these things. Once we got to know him and spend some time with him, he told us that it was a symbol of his heritage and of his own southern pride.  All I know is that other than having some severe drainage issues with his house, this man had an extremely nice family. 

We’re constantly making premature judgments whether we notice it or not. We do it all the time when our friends fight and argue with each other. We take sides in these fights, when we’re not even involved. We listen to one side of the story, and from that one point of view, we judge the other person involved, not realizing that the story we were given was biased. Failure to understand and listen; failure to try to put things into context; this causes misunderstandings, conflict, and hurt feelings.  Consider a teenager who is extremely annoyed with her best friend who slowly saunters down the hall toward her. She is resentful of her friend for making her so late to class. But it turns out that the slow-walking friend has just learned that her family’s in turmoil – her parents are getting a divorce.  After a, “come on we’re going to be late to class because of YOU,” the waiting friend hears the story and immediately regrets her rash assumption, thinking, “If only I had known.”  In this case it’s a misunderstanding among friends.  It’s easier to misunderstand strangers.  Face it; with strangers we always suspect the worst.

Chuck Swindoll, a pastor, tells a story about a woman who is taking 2 flights to travel across country. She picks up a packet of cookies from the stewardess on the last flight so she can eat them during her airport lay over. While she’s waiting, a man in a suit sits two seats over. After a couple minutes, she notices that the man is eating one of her cookies.  She gives him a dirty look, but he eats another cookie from the packet and puts it back on the seat between them. “I’ll show him,” she thinks and she takes a cookie from the packet and eats it. The man then gives her the look. He takes another cookie, slides the remaining packet towards her, and leaves.  “What a jerk,” she thinks.  Eventually the lady’s flight is announced. She looks in her purse for her boarding pass. Next to her boarding pass is her own unopened pack of cookies. It is at this moment she realizes that the man had not stolen her cookies, but rather had a pack of his own. Her premature judgments led her to jump to a completely false conclusion. 

Because we use our own frame of reference, we tend to explosively jump to conclusions about others. We JUMP to conclusions; we don’t make them slowly or step by step. We leap to our judgments in one split second.

Our perceptions and judgments are a part of human nature. It’s impossible to stop judging people based off of our perceptions and first impressions, but hopefully we’ll be able and willing to resist temptation and take the time to check things out.  We need to listen to, and look at more than one side of the story. Like the neighbor in the bee story, we just need to check things out before we make our final judgments.

Finding truth is like peeling an onion. If we want to learn the truth we have to be willing to risk the smell and the tears to get further inside. The neighbor in the bee story was willing to risk a possible physical confrontation with a man bigger than him to find truth in what he saw. Sometimes we need to take on the unpleasant task of examining the carcass of a crushed bee in order to shed a much-needed light on a situation. In the words of Wallace D. Wattles, “You must have absolute faith in your own perceptions of truth. Never act in haste or hurry; be deliberated in everything; wait until you know the true way.”

 

Thus ends Tash’s speech.  Well done.

Clarissa basketball

On January 31, Clarissa’s 8^th grade girls basketball team at Columbus Academy won its conference tournament over Newark Catholic by about 6 six point.  The Vikings avenged their last second defeat to NC in  the 7^th grade championship game a year ago.  The team won the outright conference title with a 12-2 record and then swept the tournament 3-0 and so finished 15-2.  They did all this with just 7 players.  Sometimes less is more.

Tash and C field hockey in Florida

On Feb 7-10, Tash (a junior) and Clarissa (“C”) and the family went to Orlando, FL to play field hockey in the Disney Showcase.  Although 14, C played on the Ohio Express U-16 team and did great.  She played midfield and had a number of assists in helping the team finish 3-2 and second in its pool.  They beat one team 6-0.  The team will probably stay together and play at the National Field Hockey Festival in Palm Springs, CA next November.

Natasha’s U-19 Ohio Fire team finished an unprecedented 4-0-1 and first in their pool.  The team finished 8^th among 48 teams from all around the country.  She hopes to play Division I field hockey in college.  Tash played midfield and scored the deciding goal in the pool championship game against the second place team. 

Miranda

Miranda and her fiancé, Ben Bring, are doing well in the plans for their 7/12/08 wedding.  Ben will be going to med school at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, VA.  Miranda’s looking into going to grad school at nearby Radford.  They’ll be about 5 hours away.

 Miranda is a 4^th grade assistant teacher at her alma mater, Columbus Academy, and starts today as the assistant junior varsity coach for lacrosse.

Tash lacrosse & speech

Tash starts varsity lacrosse practice today.  She plays D-wing.  She’s been working on her junior speech which she gives Thurs 2/28 at 10:30 a.m. in front of the entire upper school.  Hopefully I’ll be able to publish the text on this blog once it’s done.

Legal issues in law practice

Have filed a motion to dismiss on behalf of a client where the plaintiff has accused client of misrepresentations contained in an unsigned real estate purchase contract.  My motion questions how anyone can be held to representations that are solely in an unsigned document. 

In another matter, I have requested that a plaintiff’s counsel dismiss a different case against my client when there is no evidence of any conceivable successor liability -- the claim alleged.  A successor company can be held liable for the contractual liability of the predecessor if it in essence is the same entity with a new name.  The “successor” company has a different ownership makeup than the original party to a commercial lease.  Therefore the “successor” company is not an alter ego of the other company.  Further, the “successor” company does a different business (residential property management) than the earlier company (realty brokerage).  The “successor” company also has not performed any business at the location of the earlier company. 

I’m 50!

Turned 50 on 2/20/08.  Feeling great.  I’m 2 months into the rehab for the reconstructive knee surgery I had on 12/18/07.  It’s getting stronger and stronger.  Deb baked a great cake and we had Ben over and a birthday meal yesterday.  Debbie and I saw No Country For Old Men last week and Michael Clayton yesterday as part of our birthday celebration. 

The opposite of integration isn't segregation -- it's disintegration.

In honor of Martin Luther King Day, I'm reprising my blog entry of 4/20/07.  Debbie, our daughters and I visited Dr. King's Baptist church in Montgomery, Alabama a couple years ago.  We were fortunate to get into the church on that date because the church was closed.  Luckily, a group that was being given a special tour invited us to come in.  That group was visiting Montgomery, Selma, Birmingham and other places as part of a civil rights tour.  When the tour guide suggested a short video on Dr. King's life and spiritual walk, our new tour friends balked and declined to see the video.  They just weren't interested in a video about Jesus and Jesus' influence on Martin. 

My family stayed for it and were amazed by the impact of the faith walks of Dr. King and each of those pastors that met in that church so many years ago to organize the Montgomery bus strike that started with Rosa Parks refusing to give up her seat to a white man.  For these pastors, their faith in God informed their beliefs and  firmed up their resolve.  Their prayers to God buttressed their courage.  Their calls to the Holy Spirit gave them hearts that loved their oppressed brethren and, also, their brethren's oppressors.  Their reliance on their wise heavenly Father taught them that hate and ignorance could be combated with love and knowledge.  Surely, many other factors motivated many others of all backgrounds who bravely fought the good fight during the civil rights movement; however, there's no denying the influences on these men and on the man who's life we celebrate today.

I couldn't imagine examining the non-violent independence movement in India led by Gandhi, without studying the forces that shaped his life.  So, I guess, I wish the rest of the tour had hung around for the the video.  It would've given insights just as valuable touring a church building, a famous bus stop or a bridge in Selma.  I'm glad we hung around.

Here's the 4/20/07 blog entry:

“The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity…”

                     -- William Butler Yeats, “The Second Coming”

     In the April 9, 2007 issue of Sports Illustrated, I was struck by an incredibly insightful story of the 1957 Little Rock Central High School football team – voted that year the best high school football team in the nation, but whose photograph – all white faces – does not even appear in the halls of that school nowadays.  That’s because almost exactly 50 years ago the historic story of the “Little Rock 9” began.  Nine courageous African-American children integrating a school by walking through angry mobs throwing things at them and threatening to lynch them.  It was so bad that President Eisenhower sent the 101^st  Division’s “Screaming Eagles” to Little Rock to protect these new students and keep the peace. 

     In the midst of this history in the Fall of ’57 was the mighty and undefeated Tiger football squad, ordered by their coach that getting involved in the turmoil would cause them to have to face another living hell – him.  (An ex-Marine, even the Screaming Eagles jumped at his command.  He had told the team on the day before preseason drills began:  “Boys go home and give your souls to God tonight, because tomorrow your butts are mine.”)  The Tigers also knew that those from the Central student body who had befriended or merely shone the decency to talk to their new African-American classmates were branded traitors and “n------ lovers”. 

     So the Tigers went out every Friday and demolished teams from as far away as Louisiana, Tennessee and Missouri.  They were heroes on Friday nights, but from 8:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. they did nothing more than keep their collective noses clean. 

     The SI story tells of a marvelous reunion where the ’57 Tigers met their ’06 counterparts (the majority of whom are African-American) to talk about their history. 

One of the current Tiger players asked, knowing that high school football players are also leaders in the school:  “Didn’t you do anything?”  The answer was the explanation: “You had to know the circumstances and the times we were in.”  To their credit, the current Tigers sympathized, mentioning times when they did not stand up, such as when the school’s only male cheerleader was being relentlessly abused.

     The writer puts this into wonderful context.  Not an easy issue.  Not easy to judge teenagers just doing what they were told.  He muses about what understanding could arise from the ’57 and ’06 Tigers sitting “elbow to elbow” and talking about what happened 50 years ago in Little Rock:

No, not Hollywood’s or history’s version.  Not what happened to the heroes or the hatemongers, not the black-and-white version.  The story of the gray, the people in between, the majority that ends up drifting toward one side or the other and determining history, often without even knowing why.  The ones we need to understand most, because they’re us – the kids we likely would’ve been had we grown up white in the ‘50s in the South – and because we, too, might drift when our moment comes.  Just teenagers, so absorbed in their search for love and identity that they hadn’t even begun to take stock of the injustices swirling around them, to understand the forces about to sweep them off their feet.  Teenagers just hungry to feel part of a group, the one that gave their town its greatest pride:  its mighty football team.

                                                     -- Gary Smith, SI

                                                     (Emphasis added.)

     “Following the line”, “staying out of trouble”, “not creating waves” kept the team in tact for their historic championship run, but it still weighs heavily on many of the ’57 Tigers,  now in their late-60s.  Their silence then bothers them a lot now. 

     What do we do when our moment comes?  When we can stand for what’s right.  When we can stick out our necks a little because someone else’s rights are being trampled.  When the stranger, robbed and beaten, lays by the wayside, do we cross the street and act like we don’t see or, like the good Samaritan, stop and show what it means to show love?  What it means to be what Jesus called a neighbor?  How do we not “drift when our moment comes” – and our moment will come.

     Albert Camus wrote a book, The Fall, in which the man who tells the tale is haunted by the memory of just walking and doing nothing as a stranger jumped off a bridge into the River Seine in Paris, committing suicide.  As the story ends and the person hearing this story is getting ready to leave.  As he does, he is warned by his host:  As you venture home, do not go near the river because if you do, there may be someone getting ready to jump into it to take his life.